


it's always you

by Kody (saturated)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Blood, Fights, Getting Together, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21697108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturated/pseuds/Kody
Summary: Richie threw the first punch, and Eddie almost wished he didn’t.  Almost.Some bullies from school harass Richie and Eddie, and Richie gets a little pissed about it.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 151





	it's always you

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of a prequel to a multi-chapter fic that I wrote (and waiting to publish my friend still has to beta). They're thirteen here and it's September after the Pennywise summer.
> 
> Minor spoiler but also TW, there's quite a bit of homophobic language with the bullies so beware of that.

“You have to admit they’re the greatest band that’s ever existed.”

“Yeah, but they’re old, Rich. Wouldn’t you rather listen to a band that isn’t filled with guys your dad’s age?”

“My dear Edward, how could you say such a thing?”

“Because they are? It’s not my fault your favorite band is full of dads.”

“Full of dads and one beautiful queer center man.”

“Oh, is that it? Now that you’re out, everything that’s gay is good.”

“Look, Eddie, if you don’t like them, it’s fine, but I really do like them so can we just drop it.”

Richie picked up the pace down the sidewalk, and Eddie had to run to catch up. He didn’t quite get it, why Richie had just gotten so pissy about this conversation when he was the one that started it.

“Richie,” Eddie said trying to catch his breath. “Slow down.”

Richie listened.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Eddie said. “I didn’t realize it was that big of a deal to you. Queen is good. I was just messing with you.”

“Yeah,” Richie said. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know, Eds. I still feel weird about things I guess.”

Eddie nodded. He supposed he understood. Richie had come out to him and the rest of their friends only a week ago, and Eddie could tell Richie was bracing himself for the worst by the surprised look in his eye when everyone hugged him. Richie was still getting used to it. They all were. Eddie thought he was trying to make things easier by making jokes; he thought Richie would like that.

“That’s okay,” Eddie said. “I’m really sorry, though. I won’t make jokes like that again.”

“No,” Richie said. “I actually kind of like that, but I guess I just feel weird. I don’t want it to be a thing.”

“Sure,” Eddie said.

Richie didn’t want it to be a thing, but it had already become that when he came out and Eddie’s heart skipped a beat for some reason. He had been racking his brain trying to figure out what that meant. Richie was his best friend and he knew that rumors had been flying around since they got to middle school, but to hear Richie say it out loud made Eddie squirm in a way he didn’t quite understand. He wanted to write it off as confirmation of his strong intuition that his friend wasn’t as straight as he thought, but that didn’t feel quite right. And neither did the idea of being uncomfortable with it, which is something Eddie definitely thought about because he didn’t want to be.

No, there was something else that Eddie was avoiding. Something he had thought about and then pushed away because it was easier to do that than to admit to himself what it actually was. Every time Eddie was reminded that Richie liked boys, he got excited and nervous at the same time, and often caught himself trying to get Richie’s attention more than he had before, which was saying something because he was always trying to get Richie’s attention. And there was that pit of jealousy when Richie talked about his romantic interests too. But Eddie tried to write that off as losing his friend. If Richie started dating someone, that would mean less time with Eddie. Eddie wanted Richie all to himself.

_ Oh no. _

Push it down, Eddie thought. Just don’t think about it.

“You think your mom will let me study with you?” Richie asked as they rounded the corner on Eddie’s street.

“Probably not considering she hates you,” Eddie said. “But that’s never stopped you before.”

Richie sighed and placed the back of his hand to his forehead. “Where did we go wrong?” he said. “We were so in love and now? Ripped apart at the seams.”

“Shut up, Rich.”

“Perhaps if I buy her some flowers,” Richie continued. “Or maybe a diamond ring. She will fall in love with me again. We are soulmates, after all.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie said. It wasn’t often that he said that, usually enjoying Richie’s blabberings more than their friends do, but Eddie wasn’t in the mood. He had too much on his mind and Richie being (cute) annoying was that last thing he needed.

_ Stop _ .

Maybe it would have been better for Richie to go home. Eddie was trying to sort out his thoughts and he had way too much homework to do to be distracted by Richie pretending to flirt with his mother.

Richie didn’t have time to continue any further because at that moment, a few boys from their grade came up behind them on their bikes.

“Would you look at these fairies?” the big one, Scott McAdams, said.

“Probably on their way to fuck each other in the woods,” the redhead, Travis Farmers, said.

“More like on my way to fuck your mom,” Richie yelled back.

The last one, Ronnie Baker, pulled his bike in front of them, forcing them to stop walking. “My mom’s dead, you stupid fag,” he said. “Have fun fucking a skeleton.” He hopped off his bike.

Travis had also ditched his bike, but Scott was still riding in circles in the road. He called from his bike, “Word on the street is you suck cock, Tozier. That true?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Richie said.

Travis rode up and got off his bike.

“Say that again, fucknuts,” Travis said.

“I said,” Richie said sarcastically and slowly, “Wouldn’t. You. Like. To. Know.”

Eddie bit his lip. God, he wished Richie would just shut up sometimes. Maybe Ronnie and Scott were average sized boys, but Travis was on the wrestling team and had really beefy arms. Eddie didn’t even want to imagine what a punch from him would be like.

Eddie felt Scott shove him from behind and he stumbled forward.

“You better shut your queen up, Kaspbrak,” Scott said.

Richie placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Why don’t you shut the fuck up, McAdams?”

“Wait,” Ronnie said. “I think I just put two and two together.”

“I know,” Richie said. “I can see the steam pouring out of your ears.” He put his hands next to his ears and wiggled his fingers. “Must have been a hard one for you.”

“Fuck off, Tozier,” Ronnie said. “If queens are fags, and the band Queen has a fag singer, and Tozier’s favorite band is Queen…”

“He’s practically telling us he sucks cock,” Travis said.

“Why don’t you leave us alone?” Eddie finally said.

“It speaks!” Scott said.

“Why don’t you,” Ronnie said and pushed Eddie down, “fuck off?”

Richie stepped between Eddie and Ronnie. “Leave him alone.”

From the ground, Eddie looked up at the back of Richie standing between him and the bully, his (knight in shining armor) best friend. Eddie swore after that summer that he would do anything for his friends, even die for them, but it never occurred to him that they would do the same for him. He felt his heart skip, and he was sure it wasn’t because he was terrified.

Richie threw the first punch, and Eddie almost wished he didn’t. Almost.

_ Don’t think about it _ .

As soon as he did, Travis ran in and pushed Richie over, getting on top of him and throwing punches at a helpless Richie.

He kept going, punch after punch, Ronnie and Scott laughing, Eddie frozen in shock. He could see Richie’s blood on the sidewalk, hear the smack of Travis’ fist hitting his face, practically feel the pain of Richie’s face going numb. Eddie somehow managed to get up.

“Stop!” He yelled. “Stop it!” He tried to pull Travis back, but was elbowed in the face, falling backward onto the ground again.

Eddie braced himself for Travis to continue, but he guessed he got bored, or maybe figured if he went too hard he would get in serious trouble. He got off of Richie and him and the other two grabbed their bikes and got on.

“Maybe you fags will learn to keep your mouths shut next time,” Ronnie yelled as they rode away.

Eddie was still dizzy from the elbow to his face and he could taste blood in his mouth. He put a hand to his face and pulled it away to see if there was blood. Nothing. He must have bit his tongue.

“Eds?” Richie said sitting up. “Are you okay?”

There he went again. Richie was the (sweetest) stupidest boy Eddie had the (pleasure) atrocity of knowing. There Richie was, face covered in blood, glasses lying somewhere in the grass, making sure that Eddie was okay before anything else.

It took everything in Eddie not to kiss him right there.

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

Eddie moved forward, sitting on his knees in front of Richie. He lightly took Richie’s face in his hands, turning him side to side to check the damage.

“You’re a dumbass,” Eddie said. “You’re the one that got the shit beat out of you.”

Richie chuckled. “Yeah, but you’re more important.”

Eddie quickly found Richie’s glasses and cleaned them up before placing them on Richie’s face. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

At Eddie’s house just down the street, he snuck Richie in past his mother who was too busy watching Wheel of Fortune to notice another person coming into the house. He took Richie to the upstairs bathroom and sat him on the closed toilet while he rummaged around in the medicine cabinet for what he needed.

After the initial cleanup, it turned out that Richie got away pretty well with only a cut lip, swollen cheek, and a black eye. Eddie fetched an ice pack for his eye, and used cleaning alcohol for the cut, and his battered fist.

“You’re really lucky,” Eddie said while wrapping Richie’s hand. “He could have broken your nose.”

“Would have been worth it,” Richie said quietly.

“Worth it?” Eddie questioned. “They weren’t saying anything new or revolutionary. Sometimes we just have to let people call us fag and move on so we don’t get ourselves fucking killed.”

“Not that,” Richie said. “I didn’t like that they were pushing you around.”

It was easier to ignore it, to pretend like Richie didn’t say that, because if he did, Eddie might have to kiss him over it, and he knew it wasn’t like that. Just because Richie was queer, didn’t mean he was into Eddie. He was protective of Eddie, but he was protective of all his friends.

But now that Eddie knew what he was feeling, he felt a rush of guilt, a rush of distress and fear. He couldn’t,  _ he shouldn’t _ , like Richie like that. It was dirty, wrong, bad. Eddie was reminded of the way the words rolled off the other kids’ tongues. Fairy and fag, like they were swear words and their connotations were the worst thing you could be, like they couldn’t wait to hurt you.

Eddie finished wrapping Richie’s hand. “There,” he said looking behind Richie. “All done.”

Richie flexed his hand, wincing a little when he made a fist. Of course, Richie didn’t know how to make a proper punching fist. It was so (courageous) fucking stupid that he would even try something like that.

“Well, thank you, Dr. K,” Richie said seemingly satisfied with it, and put down the ice pack he had been holding to his face.

Eddie didn’t know what came over him, and honestly he never would. Maybe it was how gentle Richie always looked without his glasses on. Maybe it was the thought of Richie punching someone’s lights out for him. Maybe it was the stupid “Dr. K” comment.

Eddie leaned in and kissed Richie, ignoring the taste of blood from Richie’s still open cut. Richie’s lips were chapped, and it felt like he was frozen. Eddie pulled back to see a doe-eyed Richie staring back at him. He took a few steps back until he hit the wall of the bathroom, then covered his face.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said into his hands. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m so sorry.”

Eddie stood there a second reveling in his own stupidity. He didn’t want to do that. He was too swept up in the moment to control himself. What he really wanted was time. He needed time to figure out what he was, who he was, and what the fuck these feelings were, but he was too wrapped up in Richie.  _ Richie _ . God fucking dammit. He really hoped he didn’t mess anything up.

He felt Richie’s hand holds his wrists and pull his hands away from his face. Richie had put his glasses back on, and Eddie didn’t realize how (strong) pathetic Richie looked with the black eye. No, he thought, say what you mean. He didn’t realize how strong and  _ beautiful _ Richie looked with the black eye, especially knowing it was for him.

Richie didn’t say anything for second, and Eddie got scared that Richie was trying to find a way to let him down gently.

What he didn’t expect was for Richie to kiss him back. It was soft, tentative, like Richie was trying to make up for being frozen in shock the first time. Eddie kissed him back and wanted to pull him closer, but Richie was still holding his wrists. Maybe that would have been too much too soon anyway.

Richie pulled away and let go of Eddie’s wrists. He licked his lips and tensed his shoulders, looking down at his feet.

“Um,” Richie said. “So, now what?”

Eddie studied Richie who was stuck looking anywhere but at Eddie. 

_ Wrong. This is wr-- _

“I like you, Richie,” Eddie said. “I think I’m, um…I think I’m gay…maybe.”

Richie looked at Eddie, lips parted, trying to find the words, or maybe the courage to speak. “I...like you, too,” Richie said.

“Good,” Eddie said. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Richie said.

They stood there for second staring at each other, practically daring each other to make the next move. The silence was broken by Eddie’s mother calling upstairs.

“Eddie-bear?” she called. “Is there a friend here with you?”

He leaned out of the bathroom and called back down, “Yeah, Ma. Richie’s here.”

“Send him home. I need your help moving some things.”

“Okay.”

Eddie turned back to Richie.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Richie said.

“Wait,” Eddie said before Richie could walk past him. He hesitated for half a second before throwing his arms around Richie’s neck and pulling him in to kiss him one more time. Richie hands found their way to Eddie’s waist for a second before Eddie pulled away, still keeping his hands on Richie’s shoulders.

“Be my boyfriend,” Richie said beating Eddie to the punch.

Eddie grinned. “Of course I will.”

“Good,” Richie said before kissing him one last time before leaving.

_ Bad, dirty, dis-- _

Eddie was absolutely overjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway I love writing them as babies and not knowing how to exist with their feelings because thirteen year olds are stupid and want to be with each other but that's way too embarrassing.
> 
> Also, stay tuned for my multi-chapter fic. It's completed and will start going up soon <3


End file.
